Caution Extremely Explosive

I think maybe when you pray and work to obtain an attribute that the exact opposite comes to you first to see if you are really willing to work to obtain it. Like mentioned in my last post I have be seeking to obtain a greater love for people, life, myself, etc.. So I've been praying and trying to look at things differently. I feel like my efforts has created an adverse affect. An effect that is far from my normal character and even further from what I wish to accomplish. My frustration level is through the roof. Things that normally don't even have the slightest effect on me are bothering me. Last night I went to see some fireworks with the singles I go to church with. I love fire works! So I was happy very happy but then mid way into the festivities I wanted to create a new game called slap a Mormon.. This guy was not on my good graces, then when we were leaving the park there was this little girl standing there in front of her family looking up at the sky and this man came over to her, I'm guessing it was her dad, and grabbed her arm very harshly and started pulling her to the car she started screaming and crying and he began to yell shut up shut up while continuing to pull her. I could tell the little girl wasn't crying because she was in trouble but because she was scared out of her mind. I seriously wanted to choke him out. I could feel this rage building up in my body.. It seriously was crazy. Normally any behaviors I exhibited that are out of the norm for me I normally chop up to hormone over load or something related, but I really feel right now that it's a test. Like when you pray for patience you get trials sort of thing. I had to pray through my day today that this irritating feeling would leave me. I absolutely can't stand feeling like that, it makes me feel so out of control and ugly. It's not who I am nor who I want to become. I do feel better after a few prayers this afternoon. I'm just going to keep chugging along and working towards loving better.. I hope this doesn't last long though lol... Maybe it is hormones though who knows but this like everything else will not get the best of me. Maybe I should wear a caution sign though till this passes.. Caution extremely expolsive then add on to the sign to sweet to hurt a fly but I will kill you in my thoughts! lol oh dear...