Things will never be the same..

"A mind that has been stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's previous existence".. This quote was sent to me a few weeks ago by my good buddy Des.. I recently had fallen in love with what I thought was going to be my eternal companion and my future step children.. I do not wish to post about hurt feelings, or the he did he did not do, but I want to blog about the what now.. Before this experience I had always struggled with the desire to be married, it was like if it happens it happens but right now I'm happy and I'm living this life to the fullest YEH! This experience taught me that one can be so happy alone but there is a reason God commands His children to enter into the covenant of marriage, and I felt it! When you can care for and love someone else like that it multiplies that happiness.. So I was ready to be a wife and a mother.. I had made plans to move and he had bought a ring, so in my mind this was it!!! Cool huh! But it turned out it wasn't it, and that's ok, I've realized it was actually for the very very very very best but even though it didn't work out I wouldn't trade that experience for anything, because of what I learned.. So now that I have been changed by this experience, my mind and spirit has been enlightened, how in the world do I go back to just having fun and hanging out! What do you do when you've experienced something life changing but then have to go back to where you were.. I mean I am clinging to this new found knowledge and testimony with dear life, but I'm afraid I will loose it, I am afraid I won't have that desire anymore.. I'm afraid of forgetting all the lesson's life teaches us.. I don't want to and will not turn into one of those marriage wanting crazed mormon girls haha, and I'm not convinced that the lesson I learned was all about the importance of marriage. But I feel it was more so about understanding this life, and the purpose of it much more fully.. There is much more going on in this world then just the life of Jennifer Shea Kirkland... Everything we feel everything we experience has a purpose beyond our understanding.. I've changed my heart and my soul have changed not only by this experience I shared but by so many more, what do I do now is the question..I'm no longer content with just living for the fun times, and just for myself.. I want something more, I want to be something more, I want to love more and help more!! I'm not sure if this makes sense but it's a struggle of my heart as of late!

Recommitting to Blogging!

As of late I've have learned and experienced so much! I want to blog again to record these experiences and feelings. My second reason, is I love sharing and recording the things going on in my life and normally do that by using Facebook but I feel I need to use that less..On thing that struck me last week in church were the words and they still... It was said referring to people in the Phillipeans who recently experienced alot of tragedy, that even thought they lost everything they still served each other, and still picked up things and continued on. I have recently went through a few things that have been a bit devastating to me, and my initial reaction was to think and feel that people are just careless and nasty haha, but that made me feel either worse. But after hearing those words I was reminded that no matter what happens in our lives we should STILL, still believe, still move forward, still hope for a better life, still remain faithful.. It's important that we decide to let all of our experiences no matter what they are, shape us in a positive way... So no matter what I am choosing to be hopeful and faithful and not loose complete hope in humanity haha.. Last night I went with Lauren to see a band called MGMT, of man it was so horrible lol.. I realized that I have gotten so old.. I spent most of my time praying for those around me.. But least we took pretty pictures lol.. Well I haven't even put a dent in the massive thoughts and experiences haha but I am tired and need to put away some laundry.. Hopefully I will keep up my commitment...