So I have abandoned blogging for some unknown reason. I think I just have been so busy, funny thing is I don't even know what I've been busy with. So my mind is all backed up with all sorts of things. But I'm at that point again where life seems to be speeding by and I seem to be spinning in a circle. Nothing ever changes.. Work, sleep, church, work, sleep, work, work.. I'm looking forward to a little break from work this next week. I'm also looking forward to being with my Gram. I'm only an hour away from her and talk to her every day, but I just feel this strong desire to be with her.. I think this happens every holiday season, I miss my parents.. All 3 of them, I miss their craziness, I miss their smells, their voices, I just miss them. I even miss my wacky brother.. He has been asking me alot lately to come visit him.. I do want to see him, but Texas just doesn't sound appealing to me.. (All my ex's live in Texas that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee..) lol I always think about that song when I think about Texas. I really hate Texas. Not sure why really just do. But I'm to the point that I don't care. I really want to be with my brother. I am around alot of good people all the time, I have amazing friends, even my aquatiences are great but there is nothing like being around Jason. Even though after 3 or so days' I start to threaten him but it's just he's been with me my entire life. He's the one person that knows everything I've ever been through. Even though I feel like he doesn't completely understand who I am now, I know that he respects me and loves me. I know this post must seem like I'm sad but I'm really ok.. Just have felt a little blah the last 2 days. Seems like every time I blog I have an out pouring of emotions lol guess that's why I love it so much, it gives me a chance to let it all out. But I tell ya there is nothing that brings me more joy then the Gospel. Last night I went to the temple and I felt so engulfed in the Lords love, I was able to take everything in.. It was a wonderful feeling, even the most simple parts of the session had great meaning and brought feelings of love and a new level of understanding. Today I visit taught my dear friend Ari, was feeling blah when I met up with her but she helped me smile, then I had a date with my scriptures and again I felt that love. I received clarity. I'm so thankful for those tender mercies of the Lord and I'm also thankful for emotions. To be able to feel different things it helps me see things clearer it helps me see what I need to change, and helps me see what I may be taking for granted. I think that's why I'm having this great desire to be with Gram and Jason, because I know what I miss with not having Mom, dad, and Sandy here. Another smile to my evening was when I read a friends blog, she mentioned her Grandma and dressing.. 2 of my favorite things in this world my Gram and her dressing lol. Her dressing brings back all the good memories of my child hood.. It makes me remember thanksgiving dinners, and holidays. Every year we would open our gifts like 3 weeks before Christmas because my parents were so excited to give them to us that they couldn't wait..Seem so silly then. But now I know it's because me and my brothers happiness made them happy!
Another thing on my mind is Monday my roommate Danelle leaves. It's so funny that 3 months ago I didn't really want her to come but liked the idea of having extra money and possibly getting new hardwood floors, but now I don't want her to leave. We have gotten really close and I adore her to pieces. She has helped me so much. She is one of those rare extremely beautiful gems.. But just like the others that I love that have moved I know that there are other places that need their beauty and their spirits. So I guess I can share them with the rest of the world. I'm glad I know her.
I'm feeling better.. It's funny how a cry and just letting things out makes you feel so peaceful and so alive.
Well that's enough airing out for the evening, I'm so tired. Good night!
