Surprises!

Lately I have been on a bit of inward journey. I have found that there is alot of things in my life that I have been forceing.. Since discovering those things and correcting my approach to where it is comfortable for me and what I truely want right now, I feel incredibly free! There has been lots of surprises, one for starters I met a new friend. I adore him to pieces! It has been so much fun to be around someone with a similar humor as mine,someone that makes me laugh constantly and someone that when they look at you, you can see how much they adore you.. No strings attached just a friend that I can hang out with and not worry about what things mean or where it's going! Unfortunatly my new friend is not from this country and leaves Saturday to go home to Holland! That's right my friend came equipt with a sexy accent:) With in the short amount we've known each other, I discovered what it's really like to enjoy the company of someone of the opposite sex lol.. I have realized that I honestly have no desire to marry, I know this is contridictary to my beliefs but it's true.. Marriage has always scared me, and has never been something I've dreamed of. I feel that I have been forcing my self for years to have this desire. After my recent relationship that was leading to marriage ended, I found myself lost, cause I thought I was finally there, finally ready to consider marriage in my life, and I was afraid to lose that desire and feel like a failure or broken again.. But now it is so gone and I am ok with it, I am tired of putting so much pressure on myself to feel a way I don't.. I have absolutely no desire at this point in my life to marry, and it's ok... I have been dating quite a bit lately and have enjoyed every minute of just having fun and meeting new people.. I can't say that I'll never marry, I will stay open to the possiblility but for right now I wanna enjoy my life, and enjoy the people I bump into allong the way! Life is so much fun if we just live it!