Ahhh The Beauty of Insight

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, this weekend was General Conference. General Conference happens twice a year and it is a time where we are blessed to hear counsel from the Prophet and other general authorities of the church. To prepare for conference I search myself for questions that I need answers to. Sometimes personal sometimes spiritual questions. This time I really wanted to know if I was living my life according to the Lords will. To my amazement there was a talk that related to that exact concern. So it was great.. But the AHH HA moment I had was something different. So let me give you some background then I will deliver this great moment. So I am a happily single girl. I struggle with the desire to date. Don't get me wrong I really do desire to have a family, a husband with a pugh full of children lol. But it's like I want the family with out doing the work, like I want to one day just wake up next to my husband then walk down the hall to find my curly headed children. I guess it's a defense mechanism. You see I'm a very confident girl and I love myself for who I am inside and out. I know that there are things that I want to improve about myself and I do try to actively work on it. But anyways so I'm happy with me and will only change if I want to and not for others, which brings me to my challenge most guys are not attracted or willing to give bigger girls chances. It's like outward imperfections are like diseases in the dating world. So I often just don't try or have interest in liking guys. Which I know isn't proactive but it's who I am and I'm very happy and rarely lonely without a guy but I know very strongly that families are essential to Gods plan. And that having an eternal companion and family is a beautiful and wonderfully fulfilling blessing. But I struggle with finding the desire to try. So often I'll see an interesting guy with a cute smile and a shining testimony (it's funny to me how that's an attractive feature) so I'll see a guy that peeks my interest then with in moments I talk myself out of it. Ok enough of that so too my ah ha moment. So in conference a speaker was talking about how Satan seeks to destroy the family because a strong righteous family has eternal power. So what a plan to stop a family before it even has a chance to form. So all of my insecurities regarding dating and marriage is Satan targeting my weakness's. I may not be a super model on the outside but on the inside I know that I'm the hottest of the hotts. So why not try. Why not take a leap of faith and align my desires with God's plan for all His children. There will be a guy that will see the real me and that guy will be a lucky human being. So this is me saying nice try, I will overcome....